Winner 2017 New Mexico Book Association
Design Trade Book Non-Illustrated

Banged-Up Heart
Dancing with Love and Loss

Picture
Shirley Melis

Paperback:
Perfect bound, 312 pages , 5.5" x 8.5" 
ISBN 978-1-938288-70-8
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About the Book

“Remember, Shirley, you are alive!” These words from a virtual stranger changed Shirley Melis’s life. Widowed nearly two years, she took off her wedding rings and stepped out of her cocoon. Wings barely dry, she fell madly in love with a man who shared her dreams of travel and encouraged her writing. His untimely death at fifty-nine left her a widow for the second time in four years. Disbelieving and longing to recapture the reality of their star-crossed love, she started writing the deeply personal account of love and loss that became Banged-Up Heart.

Preview

I inhaled deeply. It’s really happening, I thought. I’m getting married for the second time in my life, and it feels right. The first time, thirty years ago, had felt right too. I thought of Joe, how shattered I’d been by his sudden death and how, when I could feel again, I’d wondered whether I would ever stop feeling sad. Joe had been like a symphony—strings, brass, wind, and percussion—largely agreeable, occasionally discordant, and always provocative. We had shared so much, and through it all, Joe had always been there for me. Without warning, the symphony had stopped, and the resulting silence was deafening. I had felt bereft.

I looked out at our guests on the patio below. Their faces, dappled by shafts of sunlight through leafing trees, were upturned and smiling. Almost everyone there, with the exception of John, had known Joe. They knew how stricken I had been after his death and, three weeks later, the death of my father. They knew I had tried, not without mishap, to put one foot in front of the other until I thought I could make a new life for myself. If they were surprised by the suddenness of my decision to marry John, they didn’t let on.

I stood on the balcony, my left hand holding a bouquet echoing the colors of my dress: deep pink and white roses, lavender freesias, and a singular white stephanotis peeking past lilacs. Their delicate scent wafted through the air. My fingers tightened on my brother’s arm. My eyes were riveted on the minister as he read the poem John and I had selected, “The Ivy Crown” by William Carlos Williams. I remember fighting back tears, mindful of my makeup helper’s warning, “Whatever you do, Shirley, don’t cry!”
 
About the Author

Shirley Melis is a longtime business writer, travel writer, and newspaper columnist who traveled the world interviewing everyone from busboys to heads of international organizations before launching a career in public relations in Washington, D.C.

In Banged-Up Heart, she has created an intimate memoir bearing eloquent witness to the kind of wild trust that can grow in the heart of an ordinary woman thrust into circumstances that few others must face.

Now retired, she lives in Galisteo, New Mexico.

Praise for Banged-Up Heart

Melis’ stirring story is beautifully told, both philosophically reflective and emotionally poignant: “Joe had been like a symphony—strings, brass, wind, and percussion—largely agreeable, occasionally discordant, and always provocative.

Her account is also remarkably candid: she openly discusses her infidelity during her first marriage and sexual experimentation in her second. Despite the heartbreaking losses she endured, she manages to produce a life-affirming memoir detailing personal triumph. 

A sad but inspiring tale of love and mourning.
—Kirkus
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More than just a love story or a memoir of mourning, Banged-Up Heart comes down solidly on the side of life. It takes you deep inside an ordinary woman, her deeply felt grief butting up against her desire for more than companionship: passion, sexual fulfillment, and self-realization. It bears eloquent witness to the wild trust it takes to fall madly in love and risk profound loss?a second time. Ultimately, it shows that it is possible to dance with a banged-up heart.

Exceptionally well written, impressively candid, and ultimately inspiring, Banged-Up Heart: Dancing With Love and Loss by Shirley Melis presents an intimate and clear-eyed account of finding love late and losing it early—as well as the strength it takes to fall madly in love a second time, be forced to relinquish that love too soon, and yet choose to love again. A truly extraordinary memoir, Banged-Up Heart is unreservedly recommended for personal reading lists and community library Contemporary American Biography collections.
—MIdwest Book Review
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An intimate look at the power of love, filled with honesty and passion, Banged-Up Heart is the best memoir I’ve read this year.  Bravo.
—Anne Hillerman, New York Times best-selling author of Spiderwoman’s Daughter and Song of the Lion
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Shirley Melis tells a love story filled with joy, heartache, and shocking honesty that makes Banged-Up Heart a page-turner.
—Sally Armstrong, Author of Uprising: A New Age Is Dawning for Every Mother’s Daughter
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Banged-Up Heart invites us into an intimate, compelling story of deep love, one found unexpectedly after a painful time of raw widowhood. In meticulous detail, Shirley Melis crafts an uplifting testament to her own persisting determination in the face of devastating tragedy. Her courage to open herself again despite this confrontation with double loss is a shining example of human resilience at its most transcendent.
—Barclay Braden, PhD, Originator of Depth Journaling, writer, psychologist
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In Banged-Up Heart, Shirley Melis lays bare the heartbreak of being widowed twice in four years. But that’s just the start. Her candor and insights, delivered in crisp, unsentimental prose, will pull you into this inspiring account of love, loss, and resilience.
—Patricia Galagan, writer, editor, fine art photographer